Ananda members talk, March & April, 1996: Part 12

Our Intuition Is Being Tested
Nirmala

March 19, 1996

Dear Friends:

In this imperfect world I consider it a miracle, frankly, that Ananda exists: a place where people can live together seeking God. I think it’s important to honor the incredible blessing of being a part of Ananda, and stop tearing at it in the hope of “fixing” it.

The fact that Ananda does exist is due to Master’s blessings, to Swami’s attunement, energy, and willingness to sacrifice himself in order to bring those blessings into form.

The amount of vision, hard work, perseverance, selflessness, and sheer energy and magnetism that it has taken Swami to make Ananda a reality is staggering. I think the vast majority here joins me in saying, “I am eternally grateful to him for his continuing leadership in creating such a blessed way of life for all of us.”

As far as the court case matters are concerned, he has discussed them publicly on several occasions; he’s been more open about his personal life than anyone ought to have to be. If there are people here who don’t feel in tune with him or what Ananda is, who question Swami’s character or the character of the other leaders here, I encourage them to found other communities: to use what they have learned, to bless Ananda in a spirit of friendship, and to go “north, south, east and west” bringing other communities into form. The world needs many expressions of world brotherhood, and perhaps the discontent that some people feel is a “prod from God” to encourage them to put out the energy to build something on their own.

Whether or not people feel in tune with Ananda and Swami, the reality is this: Master’s vibration, Swami’s vibration, and the vibrations of all the deep devotees here are inextricably linked and give Ananda its life. To think that Ananda can be changed for the better by attacking Swami and the people who help guide the community is to bite the hand that feeds us. Really, it is to slap Divine Mother in the face.

The way to help Ananda and ourselves through these “hard times” is not to criticize the private life of Swami, but to become more and more in tune with God. What we are facing is a test of intuition. God is asking us, “What is your inner experience of Ananda and Swami? What do you feel in your own heart?”

Do you trust the spiritual experience you have had? The joy and blessing you have felt from Swami and Ananda? Or are you willing to believe the trashy slander of people like Janice? (Janice spoke about me in her declaration, and I was amazed that someone whom I had never met could blithely bandy my name about, and say such crude and ridiculous things. I felt stabbed in the back, and consider her words “a senseless act of violence.” Personally, I think there’s something perverted about digging around in the trash and scraping together a mismatched jumble of gossip, twisted confidences, and downright fabrications, and then presenting it as a lurid expose.)

We are going through a purification process (I’ve heard we’re in a Saturn return period as a community.) For those on the spiritual path “He (God) is like a refiner’s fire.” Part of that “refinement” is to discriminate: Do we trust the integrity of the mudslingers? Or do we trust those from whom we have experienced blessings?

For myself, I hold Swami and Ananda’s leaders in the highest regard – if some judge them as failing short of a standard of perfection that I haven’t attained either, I rejoice! If Swami and the others “perfected beings,” they would be “adorning some other world,” not here in this world with me.

Nirmala